Daniel (shoppingqueen) wrote,

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Bitter- Sweet

Tonight I was reading some really old emails from 1998 from someone I was really in love with. I never met him though. I was so in love, and we were phoning each other constantly and he said really sweet stuff. Then he decided to live with his brother and turn *straight*.

He ignored all of a sudden any contact with me at all and sent me few emails and hid from me on ICQ.

I was reading the emails I sent him and they are so pathetic.

"I really love you"
"I am really sorry"
"Please get in contact with me or take my calls"
"I cannot live without you"

I was so pathetic. Although it still makes me cry to read them. He went off and then a year later heard from him again and he had a Asian lover and of course was gay again. the people in my life who cause the most shit, always come back into my life and out, spinning though it. I never lose them somehow.

I would never ever do that shit again. I am not gonna be begging and crap.

I don't understand how people just ignore someone and move on, I could never do that to anyone. But so many of my friends have had the same thing happen to them by people!

People can fuck off, I am not begging for their love back. Hurting is stupid but you get over with in time and forget them. Everything moves on in years. I don't want anyone who is ever going to use me, till they get bored again.

I think it makes you stronger.

Love is good until there is breakup and then there is the worst feeling in the world. I dunno what is worse, the death of someone you know or love breakup. I guess they are the two most negative and worst emotions in your life.

Nobody is ever doing that again to me

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