Daniel (shoppingqueen) wrote,

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I have lost my illusions, ....What I want is an explanation

Christmas is driving me insane I swear! I do feel like I am going manic! I will be sectioned any time soon. But how are you?

I have finished writing cards, I wrote about 50 cards in 3 days! Now I have to do decorations before Christmas Day! lol

Me and my brother (Gareth) put the new graphics card in! Apparently we do have a agp port! who knew! My brother nearly pulled the card out and then we saw their was a release button! Insides of computers still scare me, and possibly my whole house could go up in flames at any moment!

My family is trying to get me to go to my grandmothers 3 hours away tomorrow. I have been before loads of times but don't want to stay the night. I am not feeling well at all currently and I have a really bad sore throat :( Will I end up there tomorrow, I dunno. I just want it to be next week already.

Guilt is horrid, my gran wanted all the family there, but my brother hardly ever goes, I could be stuck in snow for weeks! I don't know what I want any more. I just keep thinking I could not go for Christmas and she could die and then I would feel guilty for the rest of my life! I have been up there several times this year when I have been feeling better! I really don't wanna sleep in some strange place.

I spent way too much shopping for everyone in my family and friends gifts today argh! I should just give them all gifts from the £1 shop and then when they complain say "at least it wasn't a lump of coal" or one of the lamé sayings that old people use.

Now I go get a throat sweet :) *mwahs*

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