Daniel (shoppingqueen) wrote,
Daniel
shoppingqueen

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Depressed & Exhausted

Today was such a horrid stressful day! argh. I have not felt like writing anything recently online, or replying to emails, so sorry if I owe you one! Will do it sometime.

Going back to Wednesday last week, the 19th of June was when all my counselling problems started argh. I go to the councillor every week at 5pm on Thursdays. I should see him for a minimum of 6 weeks, and he wants me to see him for at least 12 weeks (how fucked up am I? lol). I think I am up to my 5th week.

Anyway last Weds, I worked out that neither of my parents could take me on Thurs last week to see the councillor. I phoned him on Weds morning at about 11am and left a message on his answer phone saying I could do later than 5pm or a different day. I did not get any calls back on Weds, and then it was Thursday.

I tried to ring again in the day and left a message on his answer machine. God I hate people who never reply to voicemails ugh. No reply or anything. My mother said she would try to make it back for 5:30pm to take me. I was just really worried that at 5pm, he would be there waiting! (my session lasts 50 minutes). I did not hear anything from him at all, and my mum got home in the end at 6:15pm.

Nothing at all from him that night and the next day on Friday, his mum phoned me! She had some kind of Eastern European accent, but I don't think Polish as I know so many Poles, I think maybe Russian. She said they had both had gastroenteritis (stomach bug?) really badly and been unwell. She had checked his messages and was not sure who I was and needed to check with him. I wished them better and would see him this week. Because he was unwell he did not go there, but what would have happened if I had gone to the place, no one would have been there!

Afterwards I keep thinking "he's such a mummy's boy" lol! I don't think he lives with her. It was just so weird! He is like over 40 years old.

So the appointment last week was missed and the next one should be today.

On Friday, I finally saw the Christmas Special from 2000 of The League Of Gentlemen, it was so cool! I have seen and listened to ever recorded show now lol! I just have to wait for the new series3 in September! There was a really brilliant scene in the Christmas Special. It involved a women going to a secret fraternity/ mason / society group of women to get help getting revenge on her husband.

All of the group had white masks on, and each female character from the series was there in the group. (the 3 actors play 99% of the whole village of strange characters). It was brilliant the way you could tell each person under the mask by their body language or voice lol. Really well done.

Then on Monday, for some odd reason I could not stop saying "fancy a fish supper luv?" I dunno how the hell I got it in my head, I just woke up with that phase and kept saying it to people in stupid accents. I guess its a really English regional phase lol.

Also on Monday, I got a lovely letter from the gorgeous Miss Sarah. Postings from NJ are fabulous :)

Today should have been normal counselling, but at 5pm was waiting for my father to take me. He just never turned up. My councillor phoned at about 20 mins past and sounded really mad! I said I don't know where he is. he is driving home from work. (my parents nearly always take the train to & from work). He was sympathetic and said there was a major accident in west london and apparently one councillor arrived 1 hour and a 1/2 late for a client already there. My father left work at 3:30pm to get home at 4:40pm and got home at 6:30pm! There was a major crash on the A40.

I spoke to him again and basically gonna see him next, next Thurs. there is no spaces when we can see each other really before that. ugh Counselling is so stressful! I really needed to talk to him about my insane family as well and arguments.

Other stuff happened today and really it was stressful. I am so exhausted, depressed and tired and just want to go to sleep right now!

Good lord sleeping before 3am, am I crazy?

Seeing Catherine tomorrow. Dunno what we will do, but it involves going to Acton and travelling and seeing her lovely elderly aunt (who is so much nicer than my grandmother!).

Me go sleepy now, and throw the cat off my bed ;)
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